A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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