I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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