i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
