i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
