Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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