I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
