My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
