Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
