i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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