she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
