Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
