pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
