you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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