then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize