yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize