Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
