So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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