i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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