1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
