Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
