Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
