You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Randomize
