Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
