He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
