So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
wow bdsm is so cute
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
