i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I have post one night stand depression
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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