Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
