do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
