i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
