Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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