Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
