1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
