I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
