My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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