No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
