I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
