Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
