dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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