This girl is more easily done than said...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize