Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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