alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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