the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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