someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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