Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
