Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
