dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
