ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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