why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
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she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
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I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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