awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
There r osticjed everywhere
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
