I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
