he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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