This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
