Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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