do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
