dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize