hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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