This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
