Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
